Week in Review #30: Thoughts on developing personal style
And maybe a style membership? TBD...
I read a really great Substack post this week that perfectly summarized the way I’ve felt about social media and personal style for a long time. I am fully aware that I myself am part of the social media machine, but these days the only thing I really want to influence anyone to do is to be more themselves. Okay, and also maybe to buy something from my brand if it’s something they love. I’m human.
The post is called, “the cure to being ugly and unstylish is going outside” and it’s worth reading the whole thing, but this part was what I really connected with:
“I'm not saying you can never have an off day, or that looks objectively don't matter. Of course the way you are perceived is a huge part of your life experience, and I love fashion and beauty as much as the next person. However, the part of aesthetic culture that's actually enjoyable and worthwhile is the creativity, and creative inspiration doesn't live inside a folder of cookie-cutter skinny white girls with the same sponsored outfits on. Your sense of taste and aestheticism is developed through a combination of experiences, through museums and galleries and concerts and magazines and people-watching and eating and drinking and wandering through parks, none of which will be available to you if you spend all your time crying on the internet about the fact you feel unstylish.”
Wow. Yes. Fully agree!
Along these lines, I’ve been considering opening up a style membership — really more of a style club — for those of you who want to dig deeper into personal style, especially from this perspective. Not a “wear this, not that” kind of thing, but more of a focus on identifying, developing and nurturing each of our own personal styles. Definitely still a fashion focus, but also a healthy dose of self-discovery and self-acceptance because that is extremely connected to having great personal style.
My goal would be to provide a mix of styling guidance, self-discovery prompts, and community engagement for us all to interact, while keeping it seasonal, relevant, and simple (because we’re all busy women!). Ideas include…
Deep-dive styling content – This could be a capsule wardrobe or packing list, outfit formulas, X ways to wear a specific seasonal item, or a curated and intentional shopping list.
Self-discovery & confidence-building prompt – Questions & exercises to help you understand yourself more and refine your personal style
Exclusive Q&A – An opportunity for you to submit styling/life questions for me to respond to within the members-only community.
Community connection – Chat prompts, wardrobe challenges, discussions, etc.
…feel free to drop additional ideas in the comments. I’m all ears!
If I moved forward with this, it would be hosted right here on Substack (again, simplicity!!) and would be $10/mo or $100/yr. I’m still not sure if this is something I’d want to move forward with, but as I’m pondering, I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback on if this would be something you’re interested in! Drop a comment and let me know.
Thought of the Week
This morning I shared a preview of our new shop in Solana Beach, and was reflecting on how different life was 2 years ago — I was stuck in a failing business partnership, feeling overworked, stressed, trapped, terrified of "public failure" but knowing that my current situation wasn't sustainable.
What we built was a hit, but it only looked good on the outside. At that time, this quote really stuck with me: "Better to admit you walked through the wrong door than live your life in the wrong room"
I'm glad I listened to my gut and made a change. Never underestimate the power of a pivot!
This quote of the week speaks to the power of listening to intuition, whether finally starting something new, or saying goodbye to something that’s not in alignment with where we want to go. We often have more choices than we think, and sometimes tough choices are worth making as a gift to your future self.
In my situation, I ultimately had to walk away from the business I spent years building. I lost money. I lost time. And honestly it felt publicly humiliating and like a very public failure.
But I am SO GLAD I listened to my intuition and examined all of my choices, finding myself in a much healthier place in the aftermath of it all.
An Outfit Formula: Barrel Jeans, Tank, Layer, Flats
I wear this combo a lot and have found that it really works well for me in these winter months in San Diego. It’s comfortable and cozy, but still feels intentional and elevated and cool.
Here are a few examples of this in action, taken from my Indyx:
Reading & Watching
ON MY NIGHTSTAND: Just Another Missing Person by Gillian McAllister (via Book of the Month)
ON MY TV: Apple Cider Vinegar on Netflix — A fictional limited series based on the real-life case of Belle Gibson, a self-proclaimed wellness guru who falsely claimed to have cured her cancer through natural remedies. It’s absolutely fascinating.
Hope you’re having a great weekend — until next time!
xx
Natalie
I really hope this comes off as constructive and not critical but I feel like what you’re describing as a “style membership” is just a paid subscription tier.
For instance Anna Newton of The Wardrobe Edit does an “Ask Me Anything” (once a month I think?) where paid subscribers can submit styling dilemmas, questions etc. Along the same lines Kate Eskuri of the Reset has posts that are paywalled that sort of function as a community forum on a certain topic. This sort of sounds like what you’re describing as exclusive q&a and community connection.
I would definitely be interested in deeper dives on personal style and styling ideas, etc. and fully support writers paywalling content that they work hard on. I subscribe to the two above and the value is 👌🏼 and am happy to support their work. To be honest though $10/month seems pricey compared to most Substack subscriptions so I’d be hesitant to commit to that without proof of concept.
I would love to gage more help in the style area. I’ve personally been so encouraged and inspired by your posts. My fourth and final babe is 2.5 years and I’m still in the “finding myself” place again. I am mostly off social media (besides a handful of times a year) because I find it’s not a benefit to my mental health in this season of life. However, I miss the best parts of it. Reading your emails have been so sweet and looked forward to in my extended postpartum cocoon season. Thank you! Excited to see what’s next!